Seasons!

Today I have had a lot on my mind! Actually I am writing to you on a yooper computer! LOL I am up north in the Upper Peninsula, Escanaba, Michigan! Oh baby it is so beautiful up here! The drive from my home to here is amazing. Of course it is a 7 hour drive but somehow I make it in 6 hours, yeah impressive I know! So I have had a lot of time to myself which I might add was exactly what I needed! I can't even begin to explain all the things I have thought about!

I got to think alot about E-man and some decisions that I am going to have make here coming up in the next few weeks. I am torn!!!! I love my job and E-man so much, but I don't necessarily agree with all the things my boss asks me to do. When I was interviewed I was told that this was a nanny position and that the position would start at $400- $500 a week, which is what an average nanny makes. The job description was "Nanny" and "housekeeping" So when "Britney" and I discussed my duties I thought we were clear. Duties included: laundry(E & B), Ironing, bathrooms, kitchen, Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, grocery shopping and errands. So I am thinking how hard could this be? Also I was told that E-man was my #1 priority. Gas would be given to me at the end of each month, $50 for the entire month.

Well we started off great. Pretty much free to do whatever we wanted. Well then I started having to drop off/pick up dry cleaning, post office, baby shower gifts and registry, wrap christmans presents, buy christmas presents, deposit checks into her checking account, make phone calls with my minutes to try to fix the internet connection, Iron E-mans clothes, consignment sale, etc. ( oh yeah there is more, Logziella can vouch for me on this one!) It started to exhaust me. Now I am kinda stuck! I finally worked up the courage to talk to her about these things and explained that this is not really what I signed up for and that I would be willing to do these things but for more compensation and she said she would think about what I said. She came back to me and said that she hired me in as a mothers helper which means I need to do everything that she asks. I am not only caring for E-man but taking care of everything so that she can spend time with E and study( she is in her last year of residency) and not have any worries. She felt that she is paying me plenty and that her parents are pretty much paying me and she talked to her dad and he said that was fair. She also said her dad milks people for everything they are worth so hmmm... Take your life as a wife, mother, father, husband and think about all the things you do... ok now all the things that you just thought of are what I have to do on a day to day basis. The only thing I pretty much don't do is wipe her butt. I am a mother, a nanny, a personal assistant, a maid, cook, butler, and a taxi driver. Now I am not bashing her I just want to get out how I feel about this. I am very frustrated.

The hardest part is I have made the decision that this job will no longer be mine at the end of march. I have decided to give my notice. The problem is not the notice, the problem is the 2 year old blonde child with blue eyes and laughs like nobody I know. The one who calls me "Rach" and who I can truly say listens to me better than anybody else! We connected, we know each other, very well and we respect each other! There is something so special and amazing about this kid!

The label to my post is seasons because I have come to realize that E-man will only be in my life for a season but WOW what a great season! I feel like this kid has done a 180* turn since I started nannying for him. He was nothing like I have described him. I don't want to leave him and I don't want him to think I don't want to be with him. Life is so difficult! GRR! so keep me in your prayers as I look for a new job and that God will provide me with the best!